
According to sources within the Denver Broncos’ locker room, John Elway, a former Super Bowl-winning quarterback and current Head of Football Operations, has established new guidelines for the upcoming NFL season. These sources suggest that Elway is preparing to take action against those who violate these rules, indicating that he may point his finger at those he intends to terminate.
According to James Osborne, our correspondent reporting from the sports field, the players are showing a serious attitude towards the warnings.
“Elway has made it clear that he won’t stand for any disrespecting of our flag. One of the assistants to an assistant coach said he heard Elway screaming in his office that ‘anyone kneeling on his field during the National Anthem will be fired. If they’re from another team, they’ll be escorted out and not allowed to play.’ We’re not really sure how to enforce that one, but it looks like we’ll have to try or be fired ourselves by old pigeon feet.”
Elway isn’t messing around. Back in 2017, he fired three players on the spot for kneeling, setting off a chain reaction of fact-checking stories and attacks on satire by Snopes. In the end, the players were reinstated because they weren’t real, and Elway was able to keep his public image of being an intolerant jackass completely intact.
God bless you, John Elway, and God Bless America