She says her ex-husband was her “most physically compatible lover to satisfy”

On the subreddit for relationship advice, a husband shared that his spouse, who has a terminal illness and is expected to live for no more than 9 months, expressed a desire to have sexual relations with her ex-partner before passing away. The husband confided that he had no one else to talk to and recounted how the conversation regarding this controversial request took place, revealing that he was devastated by his wife’s condition. The husband had been married to her for a decade.

“I don’t remember life without her and I don’t know what I’m going to do when she’s gone. I have been doing my best to make the last days of her life good and grant whatever wish I can,” he said.

On her deteriorating condition, he added: “The doctors said that she was likely to need a wheelchair in 4 or 5 months, then by month 8 she’ll be bedridden for the last few weeks. That’s if she doesn’t decline faster.”

The husband then revealed that his wife had sat him down recently and told him that “one of the last things she wanted to do was have sex with a previous partner of hers.”

When he asked her “why the f**k she wants that,” he got a pretty candid response.

He wrote: “So basically she thinks that her most physically compatible satisfying lover was him. She gave a whole monologue about how sex sometimes is just physical and how emotionally fulfilling sex is with me but it was bullshit to get to that point.

“So now I’m left with this, deny my dying wife a wish for my own ego, or let her go f**k another man who she feels was better. Honestly, I’m so p***ed of and betrayed that she asked this of me. I feel like I’m put in a position where I have to say yes because she’s dying.

“I know what I want to say, but I don’t know if that’s right. I’m so hurt that sex with an ex was apparently so good that she needs to do it once before she dies. I just hate everything about this.

“I’m really not sure what to do,” he concluded.

The unique scenario he has been left in has prompted plenty of reaction both on Reddit and on Twitter, where some posted their thoughts on the story.

Imagine you're dying and this is the thought you want to plant in the mind of the person you love most in the world. Just wild.

— Rooster Luggage (@SLoitering) January 30, 2022

Two choices: deny her wish or grant it in exchange for an immediate divorce and permanently severed ties.

Yes, that's cruel. No, I don't care.

— Collingsworth (@YeOldeSaint) January 31, 2022

On Reddit, the overwhelming response seemed to be that the man’s wife is in the wrong, and that her illness is no excuse for what she is asking.

“How does she know this person at all after 10 years with you? Or that this person would want to involve themselves in no strings sex with a dying ex from over a decade ago?” One person asked before giving their view and added: “This seems like a very odd request to bring to you without any leg work or preparation.

“That she would significantly risk blowing up her marriage and end of life companionship and care for sex with someone she isn’t in contact with and doesn’t know would still even entertain the thought of intimacy with her.”

Another person wrote: “If your wife is dying that doesn’t give her the right to hurt you and do whatever the hell she wants. This is an appalling thing for her to ask for, and manipulative to use it as some kind of dying wish thing too.”

Someone else wondered whether the wife’s illness meant she was not thinking straight, writing: “I assume your wife’s illness affects everything in her body, including her brain. It might be worth it to take into account that she might not be fully in her right mind right now and if she were she would never have come to this request.”

They added: “I hope in the months and years to come you can put these memories in a separate box of “illness her” and keep them separate from “real her” and can cherish who she was before her whole self was completely altered. I’m so sorry. Sending you good thoughts.”

“It’s a no if it was me. Being on the verge of dying doesn’t give you the right to kill someone either just because you feel like it. Can her disease affect her reasoning capacity? Ask her doctors OP,” a fourth person responded.

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